How to find joy this festive season 🎄
Interview with The Joyful Coach, Sophie Cliff where we talk about making this festive period joyful for you, however that looks.
Hello! I hope you’re having a lovely Sunday. ☕️Are you booked up with Christmas plans or have you got a slow, chilled day ahead?
I’m so excited to be publishing my first interview in my new series where I’m speaking to different people on how they do things and exploring confidence in all its different forms.
This week I spoke to coach, positive psychology practitioner, and author Sophie Cliff, The Joyful Coach. Sophie’s work is all about helping people to live their most joyful lives, whatever that means to them.
Sophie shares her advice and tips on letting go of expectations, finding joy even if your Christmas doesn’t look like how you want it to or how those on Instagram look, and the importance of keeping a small part of your routine over December, plus lots more. I hope you enjoy reading and please let me know what you think!
One thing I always try to remember at this time of year is Mo Gawdat's formula for happiness - he found that we can only experience happiness when our reality is greater than or equal to our expectations. So often, it's our fixed expectations that get in the way of us having fun and finding joy. My advice would be to practice gratitude for what is, instead of getting swept up in what you think should be - the more you can tune into what you appreciate, the less you'll find yourself comparing.
I always encourage people to choose one part of their routine to keep hold of during December as a small thing they can do for their wellbeing. Not only does it act as an anchor point, keeping us grounded throughout the festive season, it also means it's easier to get back into our routine come January.
For me, trying to get outside everyday is really powerful, but I know for others, sleep, movement or half an hour of down time can all make a big difference.
You may feel pressure to do everything in the build up to Christmas. But, Sophie advises to focus on what is most important to you and let go of the rest.
There's so much that we can do at this time of year that sometimes we feel like we need to do it all, and end up burning out in the process. Instead, think about the things that truly feel most magical to you, and pour your all into those. Also, remember that you don't need to see everybody and do it all before Christmas - January catch ups can be just as fun (and can make a bleak month feel a bit more joyful too!).
There can be pressure to spend money on presents for people but I would encourage people to think about the gifts they've received in the past that mean the most to them - most of the time it isn't the most expensive gifts that they remember, but the ones that have had the most thought go into them. Also, research shows that we get more joy from experiences than things - why not agree with friends and family to do something fun together in lieu of costly gifts?
If there’s one thing I wish people could know about choosing joy over the festive period it would be: Nobody else's Christmas is as perfect as it looks on Instagram!
Comparison is rife at this time of year, but know that for every perfect Christmas tree or cute kids posing like butter wouldn't melt, there are at least 10 family arguments, stress-related meltdowns and toddler tantrums that don't make it to the grid.
This Christmas will be the first one with our daughter who was born at the start of this year, so it will be a very special one - I can't wait to start some new traditions together as a family. I love it all! But for me, the best bit about Christmas is being with family and making those memories together. It's not always perfect, but it is full of joy, especially watching all of the little ones embrace the magic. I also love all of the little traditions - curling up with Love Actually, going to the carol service, cooking the same things each year, it's a time full of nostalgia and warmth!
This Christmas I will be with my family - there will undoubtedly be plenty of noise and mess created by my daughter and nieces, too much food eaten and plenty of bubbly drunk!
My favourite Christmas food is my Dad’s homemade sausage rolls, which for some reason, he only makes during the festive period.
Roses, Quality Street or Celebrations? Roses all the way - I love a Strawberry Cream!
People can find January hard and it’s known for being a bleak month, but try and see it as a time to just be. Controversially, I actually really love January, because as fun as Christmas can be, it comes with a lot of pressure - pressure to be around others and honour traditions and be "on" all of the time. I love that in January we can all retreat a little and hibernate - so my advice would be to lean into that, rather than trying to resist it. Embrace all things slow and cosy, and give yourself what you need to recharge.
Thank you Sophie for sharing your answers to my questions and for your time! You can follow Sophie on Instagram: @sophiecliff and check out her website sophiecliff.com
Every other Sunday I’ll be sharing an interview or collated story on how people do things. Subscribe to not miss any.